At the centre of happiness lies one very simple lesson:
You are not alive ‘yesterday’, but you were
You are not alive ‘tomorrow’, but you may be
You are alive today, so get on and live it!!
‘Yesterday’ – Regrets
Hanging on to the past, or wishing things were different will not change anything
Therefore, other than learning from the past it is not a good idea to spend too much time there
Unless you are spending time enjoying happy memories, of course!!
Suggestion
Write down your regrets on a piece of paper
Read them. Spend a few minutes with them. Consider that you made the best choice you could at the time and under the circumstances. Realise that even if it was a 50/50 choice, spending time on regrets now is not going to change anything that has happened!
In the words of Robert Holden:
“Give up all hope of a better past!!”
Now with full respect to yourself, and these regrets, confine them to the bin. You no longer need them.
Either simply throw away the piece of paper, or better still (in a safe area), set fire to the piece of paper. Symbolically fire is much stronger as you know you won’t be able to put the piece of paper back together and restore your regrets!
Now consider:
“Even though you can not go back and make a brand new start, you can always start NOW and make a brand new ending”
‘Tomorrow’ – Worries and fears
Many of us spend a lot of time worrying about the future. If we analyse our worries we may find that we are carrying 100 or more at any time
The majority of our worries and fears probably will not come true. We can prove this by looking back to see what we were worrying about last year, or five years ago. How many worries have dissolved, and have now just been replaced with others
It is often a good idea to consider possible outcomes so you can prepare if necessary. Other than that, just focus on the best possible outcome. It makes it so much easier to remain happy
Suggestion
Get your worries and fears out of your head. Write them down on a piece of paper, or in a journal of some sort
You no longer need to carry the concern that you may forget them, but at the same time you can clear your mind for more constructive thoughts
Refer to them daily or weekly, or whenever seems appropriate. Review if the worry is still ‘real’. Some will be. Most will just dissolve with time. The important thing is to reduce the amount of time you focus on the worry or fear itself.
Instead, focus your thoughts on more positive outcomes. In the short-term this will actually make you feel better. In the long-term it may actually change the outcome for the better. It will have some influence, as our subconscious is always trying to prove our perception.
If we focus on bad outcomes, our subconscious will be looking for every opportunity to prove us right
Conversely, if we focus on good outcomes, our subconscious will be looking for every opportunity to prove us right too!!
Worrying simply becomes a habit
A lovely friend of mine would worry about everything. But somehow she usually managed to see the funny side of most of her worries. She would always have at the front of her mind the series of worries she was dealing with at the time
One day, she came out with a complete classic:
“I’m really worried…..Because I am not worrying about anything!!”
The biggest worry that many of us carry as we become more self-aware, is that we are not good enough. This is just not true
Happiness is a choice
When putting this site together, I was trying to decide should I put Health or Happiness first, as they both are so important in life
I have put happiness first as this will always remain a choice
You may not be able to improve your health any further, however much you want to, but you can always choose to be happy
We have all heard amazing inspirational tales where people who have major health challenges have either overcome them because of their outlook on life, or they have learned to live with them and even recognise them as a gift
Joy is the ultimate form of happiness
Joy, or happiness that needs no reason, can be best described as ‘an acceptance of all that is’. It is the purest form of happiness, and is possible when you no longer judge yourself, others, or your situation
Joy it to the essence of who we are, as health is to the physical person we are
Recommended Reading
Happiness Now!: Timeless Wisdom for Feeling Good Fast